I GOT SERVED HAHA

Haha ni hanyalah post untuk renungan semata-mata..tiada kaitan antara hidup dan mati.

Dah lama da just nak freshen up skit2 je...( bajet bagi nafas baru )

I dont know where it came..but somehow might be this was the moment..where God gave me earlier sign to be prepared

I have left all my heart..of hatred..jealousy..bengang..terasa and everythg else..long time ago..In order to become someone new, most accepted in community..but I think I should find it back!haha

Some friendS just made me realized..YOU WONT HAVE TO SATISFY EVERYONE...

that's why im getting pissed in the first place when they just threw some..some..haha!

But it's ok...well somehow this was nearly my time being pissed off, since im avoiding it for the very long time..(sekali bertepek atas muka baru nk sedar hohoh =p)

but it's ok..thanks to them..really helpful

that words just making me realized to be more humble...Alhamdulillah

Realizing there are so much disadvantages...

Reading self-esteem myself...

Trying the best 

Maybe this is of one way Allah is telling us...through people around us

He knows maybe sometimes we find ourselves superior.. ( lupa daratan )

He knows we are denying His will.. ( xsedar diri )

He knows we are entering the line...( hilang arah tuju )

However, worth knowing He wont lost anything from you...

The far you are going , the closer He will be

Before I departed from Malaysia to India, I were watching 1channel...which was telling me..

"As life goes on, you will come to see and meet many unwanted person..when that time comes you just cant run away, because there are indeed people of your life...who comes to be a backstabber, betrayer, demon-masked-human and etc..."

"The matter is not how to avoid these people because they are living around you but somehow you need to carefully manage to live inside them"

"They may come in different levels to torture your feelings..just dont let the darkness consuming your emotion..If you do so, you are just no different"

And the last word from the spokeperson said...

"If you want to go on living, just trying your way to piss them away..you with your life so vice versa with them..this is the reality..everyone will experience these things one fine day"

(.....some quotes from the respective shows...)

So, ready to change! Let's get going!---> ( dalam mood mahu menjadi selfish 20% haha)

APAKAH YANG BISA DILAKUKAN?

Apakah yang bisa dilakukan?

Jikalau bosan melanda jiwa..kala mentari menyinar tinggi..

Bukan diri disalah erti..mungkin kendiri tiada peri

Apakah yang bisa kita lakukan?

Jikalau waktu itu aku berkata tegar..maka dihalau pergi

Mungkin berdiam bukan lagakku...

lalu kulincah bergurindam lagu rock kapak

Apakah yang bisa dikau lakukan?

Jikalau santapan itu pengisi lorong waktu..

Ngup Ngap..berdentum kocakan masseter dan buccinator..

Menguyah laju Lays dan Egg Puff

Apakah yang bisa kami lakukan?

Jikalau syarahan itu  membuatku berpinau

Sok..Sek...gosip ceritera melayang tinggi..

Oleh insan2 yang tiada kerja lain hoho

Apakah yang bisa kamu lakukan?

Jikalau 'None of the above' jawapannya..

Lalu kamu berkalam..."Belajar la weh..fokus2"

Kamu bukan termasuk golongan yang rugi 

Apakah yang bisa dilakukan?

Apakah yang bisa kita lakukan??

Apakah yang bisa dikau lakukan???

Apakah yang bisa kami lakukan????

Apakah yang bisa kamu lakukan????

Dengan ini marilah saya mengesorkan kita conteng2 buku nota saya! Buku nota saya 6 in 1..mari meriahkannya!

MY FRIEND 'WAS' MY ENEMY

pemberitahuan awal--> aku duduk di seat belakang ye..nmpk je cm dekat ngn kepala miza padahal jauh kot..(camera's trick)..mengelakkan fitnah haha

Semalam mimpi malamku merubah rentak..tiba2 sahaja aku termimpi benda pelik2..bercampur baur kot..hoho

Selepas itu aku terbangun dari tidur..tapi xingat langsung apa yang aku mimpi mlm tu..lepas solat subuh aku tidur semula (amalan yg xelok tidur lps subuh haha)...kroh2...Zzzzz (-_-)zzz

Hoho!Mimpi baru!Episod baru datang lagi!heheh..

Aku termimpi..dalam mimpi aku ada Jepp n Miza hoho

erm this 2 guys..they're sumthing (^o^) hohoh

they are such a sweet couple hohoh

erm lelaki ini nama sebenarnya adalah Zhafri ( aku pggil Jepp je )..beliau adalah kenalan zmn sekolah..and he 'was' indeed my enemy hahah!

Kenapa beliau pernah dinobatkan musuh aku?

Masa kecik2 dlu..kt sekolah die ni xboleh tgk aku senang langsung

ade je point nk kaco aku..ade je sebab nk bg aku sakit hati

ribu-ribu kali lemon dah aku sumpah-seranah die ni =p

Antara kejahatan yg sering dilapikkan..

1. Buang pencilbox aku...sorokkan pencilbox aku kt meja perempuan
2. Suka jodoh2kan aku ngn perempuan..dengan sebab nk ejek aku bagi aku sakit hati
3. Pukul aku pastu soh aku kejar dia ( aku sangatlah gemok dahulukala )
4. Ejek aku gemok dan s***** sampai kepala aku berapi
5. Main bola mesti wajib tackle aku smpi jtuh guling2
6. Ejek nama bapak aku ngn atuk aku dengan bersungguh

Hahahhah!Bila teringat zaman2 tak matang dlu..huhu malu la plak..Jepp hanya bersma smpi darjah 6 je..pastu die pi MOZAC..pastu tup2 aku dgr die pindah Singapore...so aku xberjumpa la die smpi la tingkatan 3...kira masa ni mmg bahagia yang amat la hidup aku sbb xde hantu kacau =p

TETAPI...

Pada suatu petang nan suram..ketika aku balik dari asrama dan menuju ke padang ( aku ngn member2 mmg salu lepak padang petang2 dari kecik sampai tua! )...aku ternampak kelibat..BELIAU..ya ! musuh aku..hahha

rupa2nya die sudah pindah kembali ke kawasan perumahan itu..

Tetapi pelangi suram itu bukan selaku dahulu...

mungkin dahulu kami dingin..kami berkasar..

keadaan berubah ketika form4..kami berkawan rapat pulak

uik?musuh??kawan??hohoh

Mungkin kami da sama2 matang da..

banyak cerita yang dikongsi bersama..masalah..seperti biasa..aku listener jew =p

Berbalik kepada gambar di atas..

Ya Jepp dan Miza sudah bersama sejak f5 lagi..tp mse tu Jepp da msuk U sbb sistem pembelajaran Singapore laju

You know why the got the best couple till now??

Seperti yang kita lihat di sekeliling kita..kawan kita akan berubah bila dapat awek..kita akan terasa tersisih..nk ajak kuar pn susah..nk ajak teman pn payah...rasa cm sampah kot =p haha

tp xpe..people' changing...let it be..

but not for this 2

Aku terasa macam seorang anak plak!haha

Bila dorang kuar dating..mesti ajak aku..aku pn pelik...

Pernah la suatu hari aku tanya dorang...

''Korang ni dating pn ajak aku..xkesah ke aku ganggu?''

Aku hanya ditertawakan...HAHHAHA

''Hoi kitorang lagi suka kau ada. Lagi meriah la"

(T_T)...( terharu amat ).................

aku xtau cmna nk cakap..but aku suka dengan hubungn dorang ni..tambah2 lagi dorg hormat aku sebagai kawan...huhu

So even kalau Miza or Jepp bosan2..dorg akan mesej aku...

''Jom kuar sama"

Aku salu la kuar ngn dorg ni..jalan2..pi men bowling...lepak kedai mamak..

aku xterasa asing dan pengacau pn...even salunya aku akan refused nk kuar ngn org2 berkapel ni =p

because I know my limit...

hahhh!then dorg pernah hantar aku ke Mais,Shah Alam beberapa kali...

tapi sekarang aku da kt India..tidakkk

Itulah orang pernah berkata..(aku pernah dengar)..

KADANG2 ORANG YANG PALING KITA BENCI AKAN JADI ORANG PALING RAPAT DENGAN KITA SUATU HARI NANTI...

mungkin inilah antara maksud2 orang tersebut....

berkawan biar ikhlas...jangan kita pesongkan persepsi kita terhadap seseorang...

kerna..

bukan kita penentu siapa mereka 10 tahun akan datang...

TRIBUTE TO 8 MARCH..

Few days ago..I've got my best day..it was 5 March..my birthday..

today it is 8 March..it's the most significant day and greatly appreciate it more than my day

8 March was such a sacred day..

while 5 March getting last, 8 March will come forth..

what was it? As far as I'm concerned I wont forget this day

It was my late mother' s birthday

Happy Birthday to Mak!

How do u feel..When u want to wish someone most important in your life but couldn't do so..the least u can do is remembering..praying..and blowing comb of tears for satisfaction

Maybe I will not be the best person to describe my feelings..but for this term, Why should I withdraw coz she's the mother, right? And who cares u more than I ever cared about u..and this is all about me and U only Mak

As my count went down, this day..frankly 8 march..It was my 8 years celebrating birthday wihout U..We used to combine our birthday in a same day..and usually I will choose 8 March rather than 5 March to be my birthday =)

When the time come...

I used to hug u tightly..

I used to kiss u missingly..

I used to get manja2 to u like baby hik2

I used to cerita2 mende2 xpuas ati..

and the most thing is..I used to make u cheer as long as I'm able to =)

But, It was the past..Now I'm living without U

But It's ok

because for me u never went far

coz u'r kept living in my heart =)

The differnt is..there's no one I can tell my biggest secret now

hohoh

And by hook or by crook..U are the most trusted one than ever..

U left me when I was a child..only 12 hoho

But it's ok..coz I know how struggle u were to cope with ur life

I know u getting sick when I was just 9...when all kids as my ages crawling..running..and playing everywhere acting as child without responsibility

but not me..somehow Allah gave me something where I can think as an adult..even when I'm just 9. Alhamdulillah to The Most Graceful and Merciful =)

Doctor once said that U only can survive for 1year..or less than that..but somehow U bared with the illness for 3years!..Alhamdulillah..but somehow I cant barely see u lying bedridden

U know what? I still dont satisfied for taking care of U..time was that short..but it's Ok..He loved U more..

The thing I can remembered most..I usually skipped my schooldays hehe..I only went for 3 or 4days a week..hoho..So I've been  spending most of my time than my other siblings =p

Hmm..now I living at India..at least when I feel uncomfortable or uncertain..I can go to ur grave..I can cry like baby..I dont mind staying for hours because grave wasnt that scary and I know U can see me from underworld.Even it is the one-way conversation. But now the least I can do?hoho..

Picturing u in my dream is my my best night..

Remembering u when I'm falling down is my best cure

Praying for U after every solah is my heavenly duty..

Oh I nearly forgot! U once said that I'm different from other siblings.. U said that I'm pretty good at pretending my feelings..

hoho I cant deny that =p I'm just being very good at that

But as good as I am, U are the only One can detect first..hoho

Ur sacred words...IF Thing is about to happen..Just let It Be..

And flavorishly I hold that word untill know

And thanked for that 3years of living Mak..because U teached me nearly everything =)

maybe that time I always asking things I dont understand..But u keep telling me that 1 day I will understand myself..

Yes! It Is..Now I know what was all that things..Thanx so much

U revealed me some capabilities..where u asked me to explore myself..erm...

U told me that one day I can be very good in understanding one's feelings?uik

maybe I get it...Aminn..in progress

U teached me how to create poem. in BM coz u were cikgu BM hihi

And Alhamdulillah I got some from U...

U teached me how to draw anything...

erm I can draw something..but Not HUman..but U are very good at potreying Human! I lack this one..

U teached me to console people around us..Indirectly I got this from U..from things U showed me =)

The best thing U teached me was..never feel regreted..being shameful..being living in sadness..and act happily as long as possible! Smiling everyday was the best thing to brighten the day..It was blessful thing

But there's some U didnt have much to teach me..but it's ok..I used to understand..

U dreamt to teach me how to cook delicously..but times just about being too jealousy..but it's ok

U love to bring me to Mecca One day...but U unable to do so..it's ok

U wish to see us growing up..but that's the limit..when I'm 12 and Nurul was 9..but it's ok

You know why U are the most Incredible Mak?

U never neglected ur solah even u were fully-paralyzed and bedridden..we used to take ablution for U every 5 times of solah

U always crying if ur children didnt have meal in right time..coz u unable to cook..Alhamdulilah there's Bibik who took care of our meal

U hid ur tears from ur child..but exactly I'm the one peeked on U when U started crying..Im the wicked =p

U told us how to deal with problems..in most time if it's concerned about friendship..

U khatamkan my Quran's reciting =)..there's no other uztaz or uztazah but it was U

U showed me what is it being a teenager..something about changing of hormone =p

U always cili my mouth when I was being very rude =p... 

I think this is just small parts of U...not even reaching quarter..the rest I will keep as our life's secret

Somehow living without U is quite strange..while looking everybody have chances kissing their mothers..telling her their problems..

but it's oK because U already gave Us adequate things to keep on living..=)

Then there's no point no reason for me for being sad,right

My childhood wasnt that lucky. But it's ok..it gave me experienced

Today,

I ought to live happily..coz I had enough sadness..

Once u said, when u were gone, dont ever blow tears..because U dont want see Us crying 

That's why I change my tears into laughter =)

at least that can assure me that I'm keeping the promise

I'm looking for a girl just same like U to be my life's companion =)

8 March will come again...again and again every year..

untill the day I'm gone...

It comes slowly but moving fastly...that's a life

I wish we can reunite..in Jannah insyaAllah..

 

p/s=this tribute just for U..and other to share..And people out there, give all u got for ur mother when there's still time for you to do so..because you will only appreciate when she's gone forever..and that time was being to late..that's very natural

AKU SUDAH 20 KAH?

Alhamdulillah..dengan kuasa dan nikmat-Nya aku diberi kesempatan untk menghirup udara sehingga 20tahun..huhu terharu kiranya

5 March 2009..wah2 aku suda 20!..

mugkin luaran sahaja aku kelihatan 20..sebab dalaman aku tidak rasakan sebegitu rupa hehe

mungkin muka je kot kelihatan 20..tapi perangai tidak kurasakan laksana 20

mengapalah??

Adakah aku paranoid untuk menjadi orang dewasa??hohoho

Masa berlalu..kian banyak peristiwa yang melanda diriku..bukan etika hidup yang cuba disalahkan..

tetapi aku yang pilih jalan hidup ini..so aku akan teruskan jalan hidup yang kurasakan kadang2 xbest sgt ni hoho

Apa aku nk wat dalam cecahan usia 20-an ni?hoho

Masalahnya bukan apa aku nk wat dlam usia begini..maslahnya adalah terlalu banyak lagi perkara yang belum aku capai dalam usia sebegini..ehehe

This is my wish2 kot..

Aku harap aku akan menjadi seorang yang SANGAT matang pasni..hoho..walaupn ramai kawan2 kata aku xmatang..hoho

aku akan matang dalam berfikir..itu lebih penting utk aku wat masa sekarang ini

Dulu aku fikir kawan akan datang dan pergi..ada kawan bole pakai ada yang xleh pakai hoho...tp skrg ni aku fikir..kalau kita Let it Be je perkara2 cmtu..senang je kan?hoho..sape2 pn xde msalah..tp jgn risau i can assure u aku seorang kawan yg bole pakai 24jam hahah!( syok sendri jap )

Aku teringin la nk pergi europe2 tu..huk2..tp xda duit..aiyok..teringin nk men salji putih..teringin tgk orang putih gak..uhuk2..kt india ni terlalu ramai orang hitam sama kulit cm aku la, ramai gak orang2 yang bukan india tp sama kulit hitam cm aku gak!haha ( no offense manusia2 hitam =p )

tp xpe..aku percaya satu hari nnt aku akan sampi gak ke mana2 europe tu..venice ke ape ke..JALI!ko janji ngn aku nk pi taun dpn..

Aku teringin nk bela haiwan la..adoi2..tp bukan kucing jua anjing..aku xsuka yg bulu2.aku mau yg sisik2 je seperti ular ke iguana ke..paling koman pn kura-kura pn jadi la hohoh..adoi2,,erm tp kt sini sume cam mahal2 jew..lgpn kalau aku balik malaysia nnt sape nk jagakan kan?makcik depan umah ni ok tp yang tepi umah ni sungguh KEREK btol hoho..mmg xmsk kepala

Aku juga teringin mkn durian haha..pelik sungguh wish ini disebabkan tercampak ke India yang Ajaib ni. HAA! semalam mase gi MG Road aku jumpe durian! tETAPIIII! haha mahal gila..satu bijik 480 rupees so haram jadah kot namanya tu.mau smpi RM 40 satu biji.adoi..say babai tu durian

Cinta??kah2..no komen..tp terinign gak nk komen haha. nanti2la..xbermakna sekarang ni xde selama2nya xkan ada kan?hoho ( ayat sedapkan dri sendri hoho )..erm mungkin aku da serik kot..taah2..tempoh iddah xabes lagi ni =p

Sebenarnya aku nk betulkan diri sendri dlu sebelum apa2 dalam perkara ni..masih banyak lagi lopong2 dalam diriku ni and if I once said not ready, I really meant it k..not lying myself or urself sekali gus hoho..ok? ( jawapan utk orang2 yang bertanya aku hoho )

Bila dah duduk berjauh ngan keluarga ni..baru aku tau nikmat berada di samping keluarga. Patut la dulu Abah salu ckp..''tengoklah nnti bile ada masalah pape ke msti kuarga dicari "

Betol!tepat sekali!

Aku ternanti2 henfonku berbunyi ( walaupn hp sangat jarang berbunyi =p )..dan tepat pku 12 Malaysia Abah n Umi mesej..and it was SO WONDERFUL...satu mesej saja da membuatkan aku tersebak..uhuk2 =p

tapi sempat lgi 3-4 mesej2 merepek2 manja ngn umi hihi..sbb umi kata bila nak kawen haha!

Pastu..tepat kul 12 malam Malaysia jua..seorang rakan baikku..yang membesar ngn aku dari kecil sampai tamat sekolah menengah..da mcm kembar kitorg..beliau bernama Rahimah Razali..beliau menalifon saya hampir 1jam huhu..terharu ='(

Ribuan tepukan untk beliau =)

Imah ko mmg besfren aku!macam2 kau tau psl aku...dari kecik smpi besar sejarah silam aku...dlu mse kecik aku manja cm adik..skrg aku da matang aku lak jd abang..kau lak jd adik hohoh!Aku balik ni aku nk dtg makan umah kau cm selalu aku wat tu haha

Kesimpulannya, Alhamdulillah aku masih diberi peuang untuk menghirup udara..di saat usiaku menjengah lewat 20-an..Aku xtau sejauh lama mana lagi aku berpeluang menghirup udara ni..yang pasti mkin lama aku hidup makin bermacam2 jenis perkara perlu kutempuhi..dan doaku hanya satu ''Ya ALLAH berilah aku kekuatan dalam keredhaan-Mu''..Aminn