Few days ago..I've got my best day..it was 5 March..my birthday..
today it is 8 March..it's the most significant day and greatly appreciate it more than my day
8 March was such a sacred day..
while 5 March getting last, 8 March will come forth..
what was it? As far as I'm concerned I wont forget this day
It was my late mother' s birthday
Happy Birthday to Mak!
How do u feel..When u want to wish someone most important in your life but couldn't do so..the least u can do is remembering..praying..and blowing comb of tears for satisfaction
Maybe I will not be the best person to describe my feelings..but for this term, Why should I withdraw coz she's the mother, right? And who cares u more than I ever cared about u..and this is all about me and U only Mak
As my count went down, this day..frankly 8 march..It was my 8 years celebrating birthday wihout U..We used to combine our birthday in a same day..and usually I will choose 8 March rather than 5 March to be my birthday =)
When the time come...
I used to hug u tightly..
I used to kiss u missingly..
I used to get manja2 to u like baby hik2
I used to cerita2 mende2 xpuas ati..
and the most thing is..I used to make u cheer as long as I'm able to =)
But, It was the past..Now I'm living without U
But It's ok
because for me u never went far
coz u'r kept living in my heart =)
The differnt is..there's no one I can tell my biggest secret now
And by hook or by crook..U are the most trusted one than ever..
U left me when I was a child..only 12 hoho
But it's ok..coz I know how struggle u were to cope with ur life
I know u getting sick when I was just 9...when all kids as my ages crawling..running..and playing everywhere acting as child without responsibility
but not me..somehow Allah gave me something where I can think as an adult..even when I'm just 9. Alhamdulillah to The Most Graceful and Merciful =)
Doctor once said that U only can survive for 1year..or less than that..but somehow U bared with the illness for 3years!..Alhamdulillah..but somehow I cant barely see u lying bedridden
U know what? I still dont satisfied for taking care of U..time was that short..but it's Ok..He loved U more..
The thing I can remembered most..I usually skipped my schooldays hehe..I only went for 3 or 4days a week..hoho..So I've been spending most of my time than my other siblings =p
Hmm..now I living at India..at least when I feel uncomfortable or uncertain..I can go to ur grave..I can cry like baby..I dont mind staying for hours because grave wasnt that scary and I know U can see me from underworld.Even it is the one-way conversation. But now the least I can do?hoho..
Picturing u in my dream is my my best night..
Remembering u when I'm falling down is my best cure
Praying for U after every solah is my heavenly duty..
Oh I nearly forgot! U once said that I'm different from other siblings.. U said that I'm pretty good at pretending my feelings..
hoho I cant deny that =p I'm just being very good at that
But as good as I am, U are the only One can detect first..hoho
Ur sacred words...IF Thing is about to happen..Just let It Be..
And flavorishly I hold that word untill know
And thanked for that 3years of living Mak..because U teached me nearly everything =)
maybe that time I always asking things I dont understand..But u keep telling me that 1 day I will understand myself..
Yes! It Is..Now I know what was all that things..Thanx so much
U revealed me some capabilities..where u asked me to explore myself..erm...
U told me that one day I can be very good in understanding one's feelings?uik
maybe I get it...Aminn..in progress
U teached me how to create poem. in BM coz u were cikgu BM hihi
And Alhamdulillah I got some from U...
U teached me how to draw anything...
erm I can draw something..but Not HUman..but U are very good at potreying Human! I lack this one..
U teached me to console people around us..Indirectly I got this from U..from things U showed me =)
The best thing U teached me was..never feel regreted..being shameful..being living in sadness..and act happily as long as possible! Smiling everyday was the best thing to brighten the day..It was blessful thing
But there's some U didnt have much to teach me..but it's ok..I used to understand..
U dreamt to teach me how to cook delicously..but times just about being too jealousy..but it's ok
U love to bring me to Mecca One day...but U unable to do so..it's ok
U wish to see us growing up..but that's the limit..when I'm 12 and Nurul was 9..but it's ok
You know why U are the most Incredible Mak?
U never neglected ur solah even u were fully-paralyzed and bedridden..we used to take ablution for U every 5 times of solah
U always crying if ur children didnt have meal in right time..coz u unable to cook..Alhamdulilah there's Bibik who took care of our meal
U hid ur tears from ur child..but exactly I'm the one peeked on U when U started crying..Im the wicked =p
U told us how to deal with problems..in most time if it's concerned about friendship..
U khatamkan my Quran's reciting =)..there's no other uztaz or uztazah but it was U
U showed me what is it being a teenager..something about changing of hormone =p
U always cili my mouth when I was being very rude =p...
I think this is just small parts of U...not even reaching quarter..the rest I will keep as our life's secret
Somehow living without U is quite strange..while looking everybody have chances kissing their mothers..telling her their problems..
but it's oK because U already gave Us adequate things to keep on living..=)
Then there's no point no reason for me for being sad,right
My childhood wasnt that lucky. But it's ok..it gave me experienced
I ought to live happily..coz I had enough sadness..
Once u said, when u were gone, dont ever blow tears..because U dont want see Us crying
That's why I change my tears into laughter =)
at least that can assure me that I'm keeping the promise
I'm looking for a girl just same like U to be my life's companion =)
8 March will come again...again and again every year..
untill the day I'm gone...
It comes slowly but moving fastly...that's a life
I wish we can reunite..in Jannah insyaAllah..
p/s=this tribute just for U..and other to share..And people out there, give all u got for ur mother when there's still time for you to do so..because you will only appreciate when she's gone forever..and that time was being to late..that's very natural